Two of my favorite infomercials

According to all the infomercials I have seen, I can have acne free skin in 2 days, learn to play the piano overnight, get paid TONS of money for placing tiny classified ads, wear makeup but have it look as if I am not wearing any, cook 10 rotisserie chickens all at once, workout for 10 minutes a day and have rock hard abs, take out any stain- even grape juice or detox by placing a pad on my foot. The best one I Have seen recently was for The Jack LaLane Power Juicer. "The power juicer changed my life" one actor reported. They couldn't even get any decent celebrities, besides Shar Jackson, K-Fed's baby mama. Ummm I have a blender. And a Cuisinart.

Please check out my two favorite infomercials of all time. Amazingly, these are real products. The first one is for a facial mask with Linda Evans, the second one is for something called the facial flex. I am seriously thinking of getting one or both of these for Halloween.

To catch a theif.....

My hub got a free subscription to The Wall Street Journal with something he bought last year. However someone has been STEALING it- I only got it once this whole week! I have been reading it on my commute to and from work. Usually it is in the vestibule, other times near the mailboxes. We called The Wall St. Journal to tell them of our dilemma and according to representatives from the newspaper, they cannot put labels on due to security reasons. Nice. However they told us that besides us, one other person has a subscription in our building. Normally there are two papers in the morning.

So I made a sign yesterday morning and hung it in the lobby. It said "Please stop taking The Wall St. Journal that does not belong to you". Lo and behold, last night I came home, and my sign was gone! WTF! People are always leaving notes about their mail or Fed-EX packages, not to mention hub told the porter that it was my sign and not to remove it. So I hung one up AGAIN last night and this time added to it " Your neighbor pays for this paper, it is not free for anyone to take!". So this morning, my sign was still there and again NO NEWSPAPER! Am I going to have to make the sign in all different languages too because apparently, the person who stole my paper after reading the sign (in 36 pt. font) does not speak english!

Of course besides a tenant, the super could always be disposing of it when he mops the floors. I know for a fact it was delivered, becasue hub went down in the morning at 7AM, it was there. When I went down at 830 it was already gone.

So to my ignorant neighbor, please be prepared for me to catch you on Monday. I am willing to hang out in the lobby to see if you will still take it while I am sitting there. And if you are lucky, I will deposit it in the incinerator on my floor in the evening. If you really want to read a free newspaper, you can grab a Metro near the train station (like I was forced to do today) or read my day old paper.

Update:

So my neighbor left his phone number on my sign. Hub called the WSJ this morning again about the issue, they said now we are the only ones who should be getting a paper. so I called my neighbor and was explaining to which his response was "it's mine it's mine!". He claimed he also called the WSJ and they confirmed his account. Then he said "lets do a conference call with them", and I agreed. Hub and him were on the phone with the WSJ, apparantly his account had been suspended and will resume on Tuesday. Hopefully this has been resolved and we will have our paper on Monday.

Are we Humans? Or are we Bicyclists?

Did the bicyclists of NYC take some sort of oath that says you are neither a human nor a vehicle? As a pedestrian waiting to cross the street, I see you whiz by with the cars and trucks. But then as I cross and have the right of way, you also are zooming down the street sometimes honking a horn or shouting obscenities at those of us who are in your way.

Please ride with the cars, and if you don't feel secure enough to do that, leave the bikes at home and walk. Riding on the sidewalk is not OK either.

* Title inspired by The Killers hit song-what can I say, when your hub listens to something enough, it sticks in your head.