Why Salons Suck by M. Ziskin

What is going on with the Asian nail salons in New York City? I have dealt with this issue at least FOUR times in the past year! You want a french pedicure (which is usually pink with a white line on top) and end up looking like you have no polish on because they use a light pink and make sure they rub ALL excess off the brush before applying.

I went to get a french pedicure after work yesterday at a place called Iris. I sat down and the woman did not offer to turn on the massage chair. So I turned it on myself. Another woman was reading magazines, I was never offered ONE.

When it came time to put the polish on, she put a light pink that looked clear and then the white strips over it. Frustrated, I spoke up. She said "oh you want darker, OK". She went to get something that looked to be the same color, showed me and I said "NO". She said "OK you pick"..so I found a decent *pink* color. She said.."this too dark, not gonna look good"..she actually said that! So then what does she do? Paints a thin layer over what she already did, so the white strips still show through only now are pink. I actually said "are you serious"? She said "I told you not looks good". I really felt like I was on Candid Camera or Howie Do It. I told her to please put the pink polish on first THEN the white over it. She said "Ohhh, you want American French, what I do is European French most people want it". UH, last time I checked, this is AMERICA.

Finally she was done, it wasn't even what I wanted but it was way better than a clear looking nail with white strips on them...which looks horribly cheesy to me, like someone was too lazy to paint their nails but tried to jazz em up by putting white strips on em. She then ushered me to the drying station, and while I was watching all the other patrons get mini back massages while their nails dried, no one offered me once. I paid her, and blatantly did not leave a tip.

Hair salons are doing this too. You go in with a picture of what you want, and they give you something totally different. I once asked for a blowout curled at the ends, and the woman proceeded to use a curling iron....Excuse me, for under $20, I can fuck up my own hair and nails. These salons are not hiring professionals anymore, they are hiring people willing to work for peanuts who have no training whatsoever.

Total Recall

We have all experienced it. After spending umpteen dollars, we FINALLY find "IT"...the perfect product. We are so elated, we continue to buy said product, even when the price goes up. It is THAT good. All of a sudden, its a bit harder to find. Then you can't find it in ANY store. Frantic, you search feverishly online. You find a store that sells it for 10 bucks more. Whatever- You buy anywhere from 10-50 of the darn thing. Then after your 50 have run out...when the iStore no longer carries it does it hit you....this item has been discontinued. You have been had.

Over the years, I have had favorite shampoos, brands, lipsticks, concealers and lotions discontinued. This is definitely a ploy by corporations to get us to spend more money. Think about it, why are there so many crappy items out there that never go away even though everyone and their grandmother hates them? Because this is how they hook you. Put out a nice, sweet product that you will fall in love with- then, without warning, viciously pull it from store shelves-and your life. You try loads of other stuff trying to find a product even similar to the one they recalled. Alas, you have just spent $300 in the course of 3 months trying to find a decent product. The producers/manufacturers are elated, knowing they are duping the consumer and making money.

I am writing this because i have HAD it. I have wasted time, money and energy trying to figure out how to replace recalled products. No one ever even gives us any notice.

My advice, when you find a product you love, buy as much as you can. Spend hundreds now, so you don't have to waste money on products you will not like/use.

Lost in Translation

So the Dunkin Donuts on 28th and Madison HAS to be one of the worst. I went in today with my coworker because they had a huge sign that read " Small Iced Coffee $0.50 plus tax, all day April 21, 2009. I wait on an excruciatingly long line, and order my coffee. Here is how it went.

Me: Hi can I have a small iced coffee with skim milk and splenda?

Indian female DD Employee: How many splenda you want? (doesn't wait for answer calls out "small iced coffee, ONE splenda)

Me: TWO splendas.

DD Employee: TWO splenda?

Me: Yes.

DD Employee: (something in another language- hindi?) "TWO splenda"

DD Employee: $2.49.

Me: (confused look on face)...the sign says 50 cents.

DD Employee: Oh, OK..54 cents.

SO the coffee was horrible and watered down. Perhaps I would have been better off with the $2.49 version?

On another note, Hub and I went to a DD in Times Square. Hub ordered bagels and requested they be toasted.

Hub: 2 whole wheat bagels, toasted.

Indian male DD Employee: Oh, the toaster is out of order.

Hub: So its broken.

DD Employee: It not broken, just out of order.

Hub: Isn't that the same thing?

DD Employee: Its not broken, broken you cannot fix..its out of order. We can heat in the microwave.

Hub: Great.

And you thought your computer had issues!

I was searching the internet for a troubleshooting issue and came across this article on the Microsoft support website:

"Computer Randomly Plays Classical Music"

>

During normal operation or in Safe mode, your computer may play "Fur Elise" or "It's a Small, Small World" seemingly at random. This is an indication sent to the PC speaker from the computer's BIOS that the CPU fan is failing or has failed, or that the power supply voltages have drifted out of tolerance. This is a design feature of a detection circuit and system BIOSes developed by Award/Unicore from 1997 on.

Although these symptoms may appear to be virus-like, they are the result of an electronic hardware monitoring component of the motherboard and BIOS. You may want to have your computer checked or serviced.

LOL..so the computer played classical music upon the death of the CPU?

What are we doing wrong?

Doesn't anyone work anymore?? This is what I have wondered for some time now. When my coworker and I get coffee and walk around the City, there are people everywhere! We accounted for the retirees, the rich upper east side housewives, the stay at home moms, the vagrants, students, the disabled, nannies, part-timers, night workers and those who may have just taken a day off. But there are still a lot of people left. "What are we doing wrong?" we often wonder. "Look at that guy-what the hell does he do!", my coworker will often exclaim. I want to be like these people and be able to walk around the City all day, strolling about with my Starbucks cup and window shopping without a care in the world. You might think that people look at us and say the same thing. But we are not wearing jeans and are usually walking in a determined pace. Not so with the non-workers. I go to the library in the middle of the day and there are people just sitting down, reading at their own leisure. There are people in Starbucks who look like they've been there for hours.

We go to work everyday while THEY are out enjoying each day. What are we doing wrong? How can we be like them?

Must Love Nuts

OK there is a new funny infomercial contender- This is the guy that used to do the Sham Wow infomercials. I don't know why him and Billy Mays (the Oxiclean guy) feel the need to scream their point across. They aren't selling hearing aides.


If you haven't seen this, please pay attention at 0:36.

This is also a great one with Tom Cruise (with a "K")

She shoulda beat him with her umbrella..brella..brella

Recently, I was in Target with my step daughter and there was a People magazine near the checkout counter. She asked me if that was Michelle Obama on the cover. Indeed, it was, with her hair up. She said "I hope she didn't cut her hair short like Rhianna". "I don't like Rhianna anymore". When I asked why she replied, "because she made Chris Brown go to jail". LOL! So I explained that while no one knows the truth, CB may have beat her up, and that NO woman deserves to be treated like that no matter what- even if she was mean! Then she said "yeah, but he got her an iPod". LOL.

While I do feel bad for what happened to Rhianna, she needs to realize she is setting a very bad example for young girls.